So much that has happened and changed since I started shaking six months ago. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

I first came to the Ratu Bagus Ashram in October 2015 with two of my wonderful and dear friends. The three of us met up that October in Thailand to search for something more. Ciara had just come from the Ashram and Ellie had a strong pull to go back with her. I knew that I would miss the ladies so I went with them.

In the beginning, I don’t think I was even going to stay five days… 6 hours shaking a day! Ha! Ha! I didn’t think I could do that. However, I was willing to give it a go. Once I had arrived I could feel that I was in a very special place. I was reminded that if I wasn’t meant to be there I wouldn’t have been there and so I relaxed a bit more.

The first shake wasn’t so bad, in fact I enjoyed it. My legs wobbled a bit on their own and I just tried to go with it and just kept going.

At the water fountain, I saw people jump around like mad things. At first, I felt afraid. I didn’t want that to happen to me… I didn’t want to lose control like that. The fear then changed to what if I don’t feel anything? My fears shifted….. but at least they were moving. Now, I try to relax more and remember to be grateful for whatever comes, it is always a gift and always changing. I am my own self, or as another amazing shaker on my last visit said: “I will always be there for myself”.

My life changed dramatically after I left the Ashram for the first time. A turn of events led to the break up of a relationship. The shaking has given me such strength. I knew deep down that everything would be OK and I trusted whatever came.  I strove to keep active, positive and creative as much as I could. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t have been shaking. I think I would have hardened my heart and festered in anger. I am so grateful that this isn’t happening to me. Especially as I have quite a fiery temper sometimes. With Ratu’s help, I am managing to hold on to softness, although my heart is still afraid to accept love and sometimes sharp edges pop out. I’ll get there.

People talked about processing. I had no idea what they were talking about. I wasn’t falling over or getting sick physically.  Then I realized that all the worrying and stressing, fears, anger and beating myself up is a process... a huge process and I couldn’t even see it.

Shake after shake all sorts of wonderful and strange things started to happen on so many different levels. Too many and too diverse to put into words here. They are only the things I am aware of and I am become more aware. Thank you Ratu! You do so much for us and you help us to do it for ourselves and others. Thank you!

So now I am also learning to let things go more, recognize when things don’t really matter and when they do, listen to and trust my own self and act on this. I feel stronger and happier, so much happier. I feel freer and lighter. I am learning how to focus more and more and recognize when I am drifting into chitter chatter with my fears and negativity. The world is an astonishing, wonderful, amazing and extraordinary place for me again. I am so grateful for these gifts. I am learning how to savour them.

Shaking helps me to remember this… to become more connected with my own self and to stay connected, to be grateful and to open up more to love and a magical world. I always feel better after a shake. I am not saying that I am perfect… although I should be saying that to myself more, however, I am getting better.

We are so welcomed, loved and supported in the Ratu Bagus Ashram. I will always remember how amazing the people there are. Terima kasih lovely Ratu Bagus Ashram folk! Terima kasih Ratu Bagus! Om Swasiastu.

Niamh (Neve), Ireland

Read more about how shaking meditation affects people's lives: go to Personal Experiences

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